Each October I try to develop some, funny coping strategy to help get me through the month of reminders. Everywhere I look, all I see is pink, and though some women take great comfort and strength in this which is great, for me it tends to throw a spotlight on lots of injustices: the fact that I got this cancer to begin with; the fact that so little of the money collected goes toward stage IV disease research; and that there are many cancers, more rare than mine, which get no funding as a result of sales boosts from a little piece of colored fabric.

One year I tried pulling out breast cancer “gifts” — little things that made my situation any more palatable. I truly enjoyed it. Then Last year, I casually started taking photos with my phone of items featuring pink ribbons in stores that I thought were hysterically inappropriate. I asked friends to click and send their own images to me via my Facebook page, and they obliged with amazing contributions. In fact they were so great that this year I decided to do it again.

Three advertisements caught the eye of my friend, Tracey yesterday. Below is my take on each:

Okay, so, let me break this one down here. Actually, it’s not so far of a stretch since: A) My tissue expanders felt like two hard, apples on my chest. (Ask anyone who hugged me during that time to attest to that – they may still have bruises.) B) If I had been allowed, I’d have had at least a six pack of these every single night during treatment to escape. C) I did have quite a few drinks AFTER treatment was over to celebrate. However, it does sort of make me laugh that two of the things that all oncologists agree you should avoid following a BC diagnosis – booze and sugar! Methinks this beverage has both in abundance. Nothing says a cold, hard and refreshing escape like breast cancer!

KFC. I’ll skip the obvious “chicken breast” reference since it’s far too easy and go right for the jugular on this one. I think it’s totally appropriate that they are pink for October. What better than a bucket of sh!t to represent Breast Cancer since, during treatment, that’s precisely how I felt. Nothing says Finger Lickin’ Good like breast cancer!

I do think the trash can may be my fave. Only because I like it when everyone sees the sense of irony in a situation. You know, like how I felt like garbage, blah, blah, blah. It says to me that these folks MUST understand that humor in BC. I think anyone who has come in contact with me knows laughter is an essential piece of my life, but I do recognize that my sense of levity doesn’t necessarily match up with everyone else’s. This pic, though? It does. ‘Cause god knows I would trash this cancer crap. For EVERYONE. Plus, you know I had radiation, so I assume they incinerated those nasty little cells like they do with some of the trash I put in a container just like this one. Nothing says “I’ve got great cans” like breast cancer!