If Life’s a Bowl of Cherries, How Come I Still Get Zits?

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There are lots of aspects to the long-term breast cancer treatment medications that either aren’t covered by doctors, or are covered and we simply don’t hear. We are too busy focusing on the joy of having to only take PILLS rather than drugs that require nurses to wear bullet-proof gloves and ski-masks to administer through tubes and needles stuck into various outlets in our bodies. We are like human iMacs. And let’s face it, most of us are really still on the high of realizing that, yes, our hair is actually coming back and, yes, we can totally rock that pixie cut.

Menopause, shmenopause! Who cares? I can actually TASTE chocolate again! And I even want to eat it! Woohoo! 

The thing is, hitting menopause head-on, without the benefit of drugs to help mitigate the symptoms, at the ripe old age of 40, when I still have little kids and a husband to keep up with, after having been fit and active my entire life, and having to be in a swimsuit for work for cryin’ out loud, just… sucks. IT SUCKS! The coup de grace? I still get pimples! Big ones! How is that even possible? I don’t have any hormones left!

I admit it, I love you estrogen, I miss you estrogen, and I want you back in my life. I’m sorry I never fully appreciated your ability to help get my ass out of bed and out the door for those pre-dawn runs. And I apologize that I didn’t thank you for all you did for my joints, especially in the mornings and on the stairs. And I’m not even going to GO into how much you helped with the, ahem, nether regions. Let’s just say, I’d trade a few weeks of needing to wear a bra again just to have you back, sweet, sweet estrogen.

Menopause, for me, isn’t an option. My doctors have lopped off more lady parts than I knew I had at this point, all in an effort to keep me cancer-free, and of course I wouldn’t trade it. But you’d think that if I’m forced to live without hormones, I’d at least be able to live without benzoyl peroxide, too.

 

 

7 thoughts on “If Life’s a Bowl of Cherries, How Come I Still Get Zits?

  1. Can I get a big AMEN?!? “I’d trade a few weeks of needing to wear a bra again just to have you back, sweet, sweet estrogen.” Truer words have never been spoken!

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  2. As I was just mopping my brow, literally, from the sweat dripping from the millionth hot flash of the day, I could not agree more with your praising of estrogen. I just turned 40 yo and was slammed into menopause a year and a half ago after being diagnosed with breast cancer–a hysterectomy, chemo, bilateral mastectomy and officially cancer-free. The menopause part is a BITCH. Every thing about it. Obviously, I can’t take hormones either, so I am a sweaty, achey, weight-gaining, fatigued, borderline asexual mess. No zits, but I feel like everything else is pretty solidly lame. Hope your journey to good health is smooth (other than the menopause :)).

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    1. Well you certainly win for summing up those emotions and side effects in the kindest phrasing ever! I think the last time I referred to myself I was a “crazy, exhausted, dry-vag, bitch” It certainly does suck to feel 80 when you’re 40 (or in my case now 42) doesn’t it? They should call it menoclaws! 🙂 But stay tuned, I will be posting my favorite Cancer Gifts soon…

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  3. I have found much comfort in the posts. I appreciate all of the people who have shared their inner most personal journeys. Mine is much too complicated to write about but I continue to find hope and strength while trying to remain strong as I continue to be a caregiver, wife, mother and teacher. Believe me I know all too well the hot flashes that occur when everyone else is cold or chilly. I also feel the emotional pain. I thank God for the internet post that offer encouragement. God bless all of you.

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    1. I’m glad that the posts have offered you comfort, Marcy. Do think about at least keeping a journal — it sounds as if you have a lot on your plate, but it can serve as a source of comfort and escape sometimes. As a mom, I hope that the pieces I write will in the future possibly serve as a history for my own kids to read about what this period in time was like for our family. Hang in there.

      –b

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